Delhi Baby II: The Return of the Newborn(s): April 2012

Monday, April 30, 2012

The Sequel

I don't really know how to begin this whole thing again - I feel terribly rusty! But . . . I find myself back in eerily familiar territory. Sitting under the covers in a bed half the way around the world, full glass of coke on the bedside table, tapping away on the computer while others sleep. You see, a little over a year ago my husband, Hamish, and I had a beautiful baby girl born through surrogacy in New Delhi, India. It was a wild and magical journey and I blogged ALL ABOUT IT! A once in a lifetime adventure that resulted in the best thing that ever happened to us - having our daughter, Neve, and watching her grow and experiencing all of her firsts, becoming parents and all the wonderful (and occasionally not so wonderful) things that go along with that and getting to share it all with our friends and family.

It was SUCH an amazing experience that like some hollywood box office success, before we even left Delhi we began plotting the sequel. Nature took it's course (with a little help from science, a deep freezer and some other nice ladies, in our case!) and about 9 months ago we got the news that our new surrogate was pregnant. And just like some hollywood sequel, this time around we are going to make it BIGGER and add some crazy unrealistic plot twists and a few new over the top side characters. Neve will have not just one sibling, but two - yes, THIS TIME AROUND WE ARE HAVING TWINS!!!!

So, here we are in Delhi, with our 13 month old daughter and awaiting the birth of our twins (gender unknown at this time). The magnitude of what we are taking on has quite honestly not sunken in for me. We've done the basic planning of course and have cribs and all sorts of new baby crap (along with all the old baby crap) - but what I really mean is the mental part of being READY FOR TWINS (on top of a 13 month old). One of the luxuries (or detriments depending on how you look at things) of not carrying a baby yourself is that you go about your normal everyday life for the gestational period and then - BOOM - you're a parent. I worry about this a bit, but only a bit, because with keeping Neve from eating electrical cords and falling down marble stairs and trying to put away all of our clothes and things, I really don't have time. Forgive me baby unborn children of mine - I have a feeling that mentally ready or not, here you come!

Before we get all deep in to twin territory, I think I should "end" the prior blog. (I understand that blogs are traditionally continuous things, but that's just not how I roll. I blog while in India picking up children, then I fade back into my non-blogging life, end of story.)

After picking up Neve in India, we went to Australia to see Hamish's family and then were called back to the US early because my Dad was very ill and was in the ICU. We took a flight from Melbourne just after Easter 2011, a quick stop in Sydney, on to LA and then Orlando, Florida - where we took up residency for almost 6 weeks. All with an infant and a traveling office (Hamish was working and busy all that time). Once we made it to Orlando, my time was sucked up with hospital visits and baby care and blogging fell off the radar. But, I feel I owe you an explanation of how things turned out, so stay tuned for the next post that sums it all up.

Once the past has been put to rest, we can ALL start preparing for this new story and how delightful and disastrous (in a good way) it will all play out!

Love (and it's nice to be back!),

G, H & N + 2

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Tips for Delhi Bound IPs:

Shopping: Last year when we were in Delhi, we did most of our shopping at the M Block Market. This time around we have preferred the City Walk Mall. There are two good baby stores at the end (near Zara). There are also 2 good western style markets at the other end (where you enter and exit). Only thing lacking at the City Walk is no real chemist. M Block seems to have gone down hill a bit and in the heat of the summer is fairly unpleasant.

Printer: If you need to buy a printer, scanner, copier because you are working while in Delhi, best place is Nehru Market. It's intimidating, but this is where you go for printers, computers, office supplies. Just so you are prepared, contrary to popular opinion, printers that you would recognize (Brothers, Canon) are NOT cheaper in India than in the US. Now we did have the guy in the baby store offer to sell us his printer right there in the store, but I'm talking about the new kind that come in sealed boxes with warranties.

The printer/scanner/photocopier has been critical for moving the exit process along. Much better than having to go out each time you need a copy because you need lots. And being able to print out documents from our e-mail has been critical.

For AUS citizenship documents, you will need A4 paper which you can also buy in Nehru Market.

Prices: Watch out for wanting to buy the cereal or soap you like from home. You will pay dearly for some of these things. H2O Body Wash (love it!) is $20 here and imported sharp cheddar cheese is an outrageous luxury.

Lawyer Visit: When we were here last year, we used a lawyer, Mr. Chawla, to help us with the exit paper work. This time around the process has been simplified and SCI is not recommending an attorney.

Privacy: I love all of the help here but am not used to having people around all day. Ladies, make sure you bring a robe! I would get one, but don't know where the robe market is!

Phones: We brought from NY our Vonage phone and internet connection. This has been amazing. We can call from our Vonage phone to anyone as if we are in NY. Skype has been great, but having the cheap phone is really helpful.

Baby in Hospital: When you get the call that the be baby is born, come to hospital with enough clothes (including hats and socks) for the baby, diapers and a bottle. The nurses will take them and use them on your baby while he/she is in the hospital. You might want to bring socks to visit your baby in the hospital as they make you take your shoes off in the baby area.

Bottles/Formula/Preparation: We have been using Dr.Browns Natural Flow bottles and have been very pleased. When the nurse took our bottle she said "oh, this is the good kind." We are using Nestle Nan 1 formula because that's what she got in the hospital. We bought it at M Block Market. We are boiling bottled water for the bottles and using a microwave sterilizer.

Diaper: You can buy pampers and wipes here. But, size one -- which is what you need for a baby under 3 kilos -- are harder to locate. Try M Block. We brought a suitcase of newborn diapers with us this time and although Hamish thought I was crazy it has been really helpful.

Clothes: Bring newborn sized clothes with you. For some inexplicable reason, it is impossible to find clothes for newborns here. If you are having twins - I would really not expect to rely on any of the clothes here. Bring tiny hats with you. I only have one that fits and looked for more but could not find anything. Bring rompers (one piece outfits with long sleeves and long legs) that snap in the front (no over head), have closed feet (no need to bother with socks) and which have the hand guards so that the baby can't scratch its face.

Transport & Bassinets: For Neve we used the Phil & Teds Nest for the at home bassinet (which we really liked and the mosquito net came in really handy). We used the Ergo with infant insert for outside travel (also good). The twins are too small to go in the Ergos so we are right now just putting the on our laps in the car and will only leave the house with them if we have to. If your baby is premature or you have twins the Phil & Teds cocoon is probably the way to go. We got spooked by the warnings on it that you should not leave a sleeping baby alone in it because the sides are not breathable. This time around we bought a pac n play at M Block Market for the twins.

Do not rely on SCI supplying bassinets, baby tubs, etc. They told us they would be able to loan us a bassinet for the twins and a crib for Neve and a baby tub and when we got here they said they were all already loaned out.

Bank Draft Check for Citizenship Application: You have to a branch of The Bank of India. We tried the Citi (where we are private banking clients) but they will not help you unless you have an account in India. They won't even accept cash (as opposed to taking it from an account) for the draft. Try to find a non-busy branch of Bank of India or it will be a long and painful wait. Seek help from your driver should you get stuck in lines that you can't manage. [NOT SURE THIS IS STILL ACCURATE.]

Cars & Drivers. Rahul has a car services that SCI clients use. Rachna will be able to give you the number directly or arrange for pick-ups. There are 4 and 8 hour minimums. These guys know where the hospital is, the SCI office and all the places you need to go for citizenship/passports/exit visas. If you find a driver that you like, tip him well and he will come back (and just to make sure, request him when you book). Your driver can REALLY make a difference in your overall experience and he can be really helpful in navigating situations/places where you are unsure.

Photos of Baby: Rachna will give you the number for a photographer who will come to your apartment take photographs of your baby for the citizenship, passport and exit visa and dna tests. I would wait until day 2 or so to do this (you won't have the BC back by then anyway, so no reason to rush on day 1) because baby has to open its eyes fully and that's easier the older the baby is.

For Australian citizenship, Dr. Shivani will endorse 4 of the photos and she will need to sign your Form 118 (for AUS citizenship). You will need these before you can apply for citizenship.

Birth Certificate: After the baby is born, you go to SCI and Rachna will help you fill out the birth certificate application and will file it for you. Rachna will also arrange for the apostile. You can pay with a credit card at SCI for these services

DNA Test Australia (accurate in 2011): Once the baby is born, contact the Australian High Commission to make an appointment with a panel doctor to have your baby dna tested. Because we live in the US, my husband had to be tested in Delhi as well (they prefer that you do the husband in Australia before you leave). If you are doing both the baby and the husband, double and triple check that the AHC is bringing two kits to the panel doctor. Make sure you have your passport with you. You have to have the 3 forms from the AHC filled for the dna test.

DNA Test US: The US is again requiring DNA testing. We spoke to a couple who had trouble with the lab they used in the US - results took 2 weeks. They suggest that you order the test from a center near your home and there is no reason to do that. When you call the lab make sure that they (1) will ship the test before the babies are born (the one in NJ would not do that), (2) confirm that they will get you the DNA results within a few days of receiving the sample and (3) confirm that they will e-mail the results to the embassy.

Citizenship (AUS) [accurate in 2011]: After you get the birth certificate, call and make an appointment with the AHC to file your citizenship application. Start filling out form 118 after the birth. Documents the AHC needed (along with a completed Form 118:

- Original Birth Certificate plus one copy (they will look over the original and keep the copy)

- Proof of Identity Photos of Baby (at least one endorsed by Dr Shivani or whoever signs you form 118)

- Original Surrogacy Contracts, Medical Records of Pregnancy and Baby's Discharge Papers plus one copy of all (they will look over the originals and keep the copy) -- you will pick up the originals of all of these documents from SCI but will have to get your own copies made

- Form 118 (completed)

- Birth Certificate for Genetically related AUS parents or parents plus a copy (they will review the BC and keep the copy)

- Passports for both parents plus copies of the name pages (they will review the original and keep the copies)

- DNA Test results (do not need results to file application for citizenship)

- Statutory Declaration (which needs to be witnessed by an appropriate Australian, or if you are not in AUS by the consulate which which the AHC person can call over for you.

- No Objection Letter from non -AUS parent. Not required if two Australians.

- Original Marriage License plus copy (they will review the original and keep the copy)

- Legal opinion/report from attorney re surrogacy contracts

- Bank Draft [ours was for INR 5500], drawn in favor of the "Australian High Commission" and payable at "New Dehi"

We did NOT need tax returns.

Australian Passport: When you go to your AHC meeting ask if the consulate can come over and look over your PC8 application for the passport. You might be able to lodge it at the same time if you have all that is required. You are going to apply for an emergency passport, although form PC8 does not list that as an option.

List from the consulate includes the following:

- completed form PC8

- Original Birth Certificate of Baby

- Australian Citizenship Certificate

- Proof of Australian citizenship for parent

- 2 passport photos of baby (size 35mm x 45mm, face front) endorsed on back

- passport fee and emergency passport priority fee, all payable in INR

** You do not need a guarantor for form PC8 unless you are applying for a non-emergency passport

US Citizenship: Will post more once we start the process. Note that Nancy Hamilton is no longer at the US embassy in Delhi. Your contact person is Karin Leishman (LeishmanKR@state.gov) and you should contact her before you come over so that you can confirm you are bringing all the paper work you need.