Delhi Baby II: The Return of the Newborn(s)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Cranky

Jet lag has sunken its nasty teeth into my sweet baby girl and today has been, well . . . long and painful for everyone involved. I went to bed at around midnight, Hamish turned in at 2am after putting in a day at the office (which woke me up) and then Neve was up at 2:45am, 3:30am, 4:30am and finally at 5am I gave up and took Neve into one of the unoccupied bedrooms to watch cartoons and CNN. Unfortunately it was not the warm and fuzzy mother and daughter time I had hoped for - all tired and snuggly watching the tv and playing with blocks. Instead Neve swung from "out of sorts whiney baby" to "maximum crying baby" to "sweet happy baby" like someone with a split personality disorder. WELCOME TO TODDLER CRANKSVILLE!!

When Neve finally decided it was ok to have a nap later that morning, I crawled back in bed and felt certain that she would sleep several hours (and I would sleep several hours) and we would both wake up back to our old selves. WELL I WAS WRONG!! She slept less than an hour and again woke up on the wrong side of the crib. This pattern repeated itself through the day and we never gained any ground.

I was EXHAUSTED. 2 hours sleep and a couple 45 minute naps were not cutting it on top of my own jet lag and frankly my nerves were frayed from dealing with the Neve mood swings (um, how am I supposed to manage with twins on top of this?? Let's not think about that right now!). Hamish was trying to help with Neve and trying to work and he too had grown weary. I realized too late that we had not made a plan for the day and before I knew it, we were destined to be house bound with a monster child. So add crazy jet lag and lack of sleep to cranky and then toss in filthy floors and boredom and you get ONE CRAPPY DAY.

In retrospect there must have been some big Cricket match today as the cook ran out just after fixing breakfast with orders that we were to leave the dishes on the table because he would take care of it when he got back (this was at 10am and I don't mind clearing the dishes but it seemed like a big deal to him that we not touch them) and the cleaners who usually show up at around 11 were also a no show. At around 4:30 pm everyone mysteriously reappeared - game must have ended.

By then the Delhi dust was thick in the house and we had long ago cleared the breakfast dishes. There is a weird phenomenon here where even if you don't have a single window open and the a/c is using recycled air - after about 12 hours, the floors and every other surface (including your blackberry) will be covered in a light film of Delhi dirt. You can literally feel it on your feet on the floor and in your hair (and see it all over the clothes and body of your toddler who has been scooting about!).

Well, with the lack of sleep and cranky Neve and feeling like a shut in, the dirt factor put me right over the edge! I have decided to write this day off entirely and after this post, will try very hard to forget all about it. I will also try very hard to find some beer today, as I don't think I have EVER needed a drink as badly as I did after Neve finally put us out of her misery by going to sleep last night!!

The one funny thing that did happen today was that Hamish found an app on his ipad that translates English into Hindi. You say to the ipad "make me spinach paneer" and it types in what it thinks you said and then you press a button and like magic it says your phrase back in Hindi. Genius - right? Hamish has been dying for pappodoms since we got here but our new cook can't seem to understand his requests at all. So we're at the table having dinner and Hamish says to the ipad - "cook me some pappodoms" and the app says back "cook me some panda bears"! And at that point in this not funny day, I started laughing uncontrollably and Hamish started laughing uncontrollably and then Neve finally cracked a smile and started giggling at us - which made us all laugh even more. I think we might be doing without the pappodoms this time around!

Twin news: When we were at the Mall the day before cranky day, we got a text from the Dr that our surrogate had been admitted to the hospital with labor pains! "Oh wow - this is really happening", we thought, and got all nervous and started rushing about to finish up the shopping. But, as these things go, the labor pains stopped and now our surrogate is in the hospital but all is stable. They are doing a planned c-section on Monday if nature has not taken its course before then. So there you have it - we have an outside date - May 7 may be the big day!

Love,

G, H & N + 2

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Tips for Delhi Bound IPs:

Shopping: Last year when we were in Delhi, we did most of our shopping at the M Block Market. This time around we have preferred the City Walk Mall. There are two good baby stores at the end (near Zara). There are also 2 good western style markets at the other end (where you enter and exit). Only thing lacking at the City Walk is no real chemist. M Block seems to have gone down hill a bit and in the heat of the summer is fairly unpleasant.

Printer: If you need to buy a printer, scanner, copier because you are working while in Delhi, best place is Nehru Market. It's intimidating, but this is where you go for printers, computers, office supplies. Just so you are prepared, contrary to popular opinion, printers that you would recognize (Brothers, Canon) are NOT cheaper in India than in the US. Now we did have the guy in the baby store offer to sell us his printer right there in the store, but I'm talking about the new kind that come in sealed boxes with warranties.

The printer/scanner/photocopier has been critical for moving the exit process along. Much better than having to go out each time you need a copy because you need lots. And being able to print out documents from our e-mail has been critical.

For AUS citizenship documents, you will need A4 paper which you can also buy in Nehru Market.

Prices: Watch out for wanting to buy the cereal or soap you like from home. You will pay dearly for some of these things. H2O Body Wash (love it!) is $20 here and imported sharp cheddar cheese is an outrageous luxury.

Lawyer Visit: When we were here last year, we used a lawyer, Mr. Chawla, to help us with the exit paper work. This time around the process has been simplified and SCI is not recommending an attorney.

Privacy: I love all of the help here but am not used to having people around all day. Ladies, make sure you bring a robe! I would get one, but don't know where the robe market is!

Phones: We brought from NY our Vonage phone and internet connection. This has been amazing. We can call from our Vonage phone to anyone as if we are in NY. Skype has been great, but having the cheap phone is really helpful.

Baby in Hospital: When you get the call that the be baby is born, come to hospital with enough clothes (including hats and socks) for the baby, diapers and a bottle. The nurses will take them and use them on your baby while he/she is in the hospital. You might want to bring socks to visit your baby in the hospital as they make you take your shoes off in the baby area.

Bottles/Formula/Preparation: We have been using Dr.Browns Natural Flow bottles and have been very pleased. When the nurse took our bottle she said "oh, this is the good kind." We are using Nestle Nan 1 formula because that's what she got in the hospital. We bought it at M Block Market. We are boiling bottled water for the bottles and using a microwave sterilizer.

Diaper: You can buy pampers and wipes here. But, size one -- which is what you need for a baby under 3 kilos -- are harder to locate. Try M Block. We brought a suitcase of newborn diapers with us this time and although Hamish thought I was crazy it has been really helpful.

Clothes: Bring newborn sized clothes with you. For some inexplicable reason, it is impossible to find clothes for newborns here. If you are having twins - I would really not expect to rely on any of the clothes here. Bring tiny hats with you. I only have one that fits and looked for more but could not find anything. Bring rompers (one piece outfits with long sleeves and long legs) that snap in the front (no over head), have closed feet (no need to bother with socks) and which have the hand guards so that the baby can't scratch its face.

Transport & Bassinets: For Neve we used the Phil & Teds Nest for the at home bassinet (which we really liked and the mosquito net came in really handy). We used the Ergo with infant insert for outside travel (also good). The twins are too small to go in the Ergos so we are right now just putting the on our laps in the car and will only leave the house with them if we have to. If your baby is premature or you have twins the Phil & Teds cocoon is probably the way to go. We got spooked by the warnings on it that you should not leave a sleeping baby alone in it because the sides are not breathable. This time around we bought a pac n play at M Block Market for the twins.

Do not rely on SCI supplying bassinets, baby tubs, etc. They told us they would be able to loan us a bassinet for the twins and a crib for Neve and a baby tub and when we got here they said they were all already loaned out.

Bank Draft Check for Citizenship Application: You have to a branch of The Bank of India. We tried the Citi (where we are private banking clients) but they will not help you unless you have an account in India. They won't even accept cash (as opposed to taking it from an account) for the draft. Try to find a non-busy branch of Bank of India or it will be a long and painful wait. Seek help from your driver should you get stuck in lines that you can't manage. [NOT SURE THIS IS STILL ACCURATE.]

Cars & Drivers. Rahul has a car services that SCI clients use. Rachna will be able to give you the number directly or arrange for pick-ups. There are 4 and 8 hour minimums. These guys know where the hospital is, the SCI office and all the places you need to go for citizenship/passports/exit visas. If you find a driver that you like, tip him well and he will come back (and just to make sure, request him when you book). Your driver can REALLY make a difference in your overall experience and he can be really helpful in navigating situations/places where you are unsure.

Photos of Baby: Rachna will give you the number for a photographer who will come to your apartment take photographs of your baby for the citizenship, passport and exit visa and dna tests. I would wait until day 2 or so to do this (you won't have the BC back by then anyway, so no reason to rush on day 1) because baby has to open its eyes fully and that's easier the older the baby is.

For Australian citizenship, Dr. Shivani will endorse 4 of the photos and she will need to sign your Form 118 (for AUS citizenship). You will need these before you can apply for citizenship.

Birth Certificate: After the baby is born, you go to SCI and Rachna will help you fill out the birth certificate application and will file it for you. Rachna will also arrange for the apostile. You can pay with a credit card at SCI for these services

DNA Test Australia (accurate in 2011): Once the baby is born, contact the Australian High Commission to make an appointment with a panel doctor to have your baby dna tested. Because we live in the US, my husband had to be tested in Delhi as well (they prefer that you do the husband in Australia before you leave). If you are doing both the baby and the husband, double and triple check that the AHC is bringing two kits to the panel doctor. Make sure you have your passport with you. You have to have the 3 forms from the AHC filled for the dna test.

DNA Test US: The US is again requiring DNA testing. We spoke to a couple who had trouble with the lab they used in the US - results took 2 weeks. They suggest that you order the test from a center near your home and there is no reason to do that. When you call the lab make sure that they (1) will ship the test before the babies are born (the one in NJ would not do that), (2) confirm that they will get you the DNA results within a few days of receiving the sample and (3) confirm that they will e-mail the results to the embassy.

Citizenship (AUS) [accurate in 2011]: After you get the birth certificate, call and make an appointment with the AHC to file your citizenship application. Start filling out form 118 after the birth. Documents the AHC needed (along with a completed Form 118:

- Original Birth Certificate plus one copy (they will look over the original and keep the copy)

- Proof of Identity Photos of Baby (at least one endorsed by Dr Shivani or whoever signs you form 118)

- Original Surrogacy Contracts, Medical Records of Pregnancy and Baby's Discharge Papers plus one copy of all (they will look over the originals and keep the copy) -- you will pick up the originals of all of these documents from SCI but will have to get your own copies made

- Form 118 (completed)

- Birth Certificate for Genetically related AUS parents or parents plus a copy (they will review the BC and keep the copy)

- Passports for both parents plus copies of the name pages (they will review the original and keep the copies)

- DNA Test results (do not need results to file application for citizenship)

- Statutory Declaration (which needs to be witnessed by an appropriate Australian, or if you are not in AUS by the consulate which which the AHC person can call over for you.

- No Objection Letter from non -AUS parent. Not required if two Australians.

- Original Marriage License plus copy (they will review the original and keep the copy)

- Legal opinion/report from attorney re surrogacy contracts

- Bank Draft [ours was for INR 5500], drawn in favor of the "Australian High Commission" and payable at "New Dehi"

We did NOT need tax returns.

Australian Passport: When you go to your AHC meeting ask if the consulate can come over and look over your PC8 application for the passport. You might be able to lodge it at the same time if you have all that is required. You are going to apply for an emergency passport, although form PC8 does not list that as an option.

List from the consulate includes the following:

- completed form PC8

- Original Birth Certificate of Baby

- Australian Citizenship Certificate

- Proof of Australian citizenship for parent

- 2 passport photos of baby (size 35mm x 45mm, face front) endorsed on back

- passport fee and emergency passport priority fee, all payable in INR

** You do not need a guarantor for form PC8 unless you are applying for a non-emergency passport

US Citizenship: Will post more once we start the process. Note that Nancy Hamilton is no longer at the US embassy in Delhi. Your contact person is Karin Leishman (LeishmanKR@state.gov) and you should contact her before you come over so that you can confirm you are bringing all the paper work you need.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Cranky

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