Delhi Baby II: The Return of the Newborn(s)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day

A BIG happy Mother's Day to the mothers of the world! Not just to you conventional mothers but to all of you expecting mothers (LPS!!), you future mothers (keep trying, it will happen for you!) and to all of you who mother others with no title attached. This used to be one of my LEAST favorite days of the year (sorry Momo!), but it was a celebration that reminded me of the big childless hole in my life. That has certainly changed and now I am a mother 3 times over, but I still remember the sting. So, I want to open up Mother's Day to everyone who provides love and support to others - we are all real mothers and we all deserve to be celebrated today (and every day)!

I am personally celebrating Mother's Day by watching Spider Man in bed, eating chocolate and having my third tea of the day! Again, not conventional, but to each his or her own - this is my idea of a good celebration day! For the next hour, while the babies are all sleeping, I will happily indulge in this silly pleasure (even though, I have to admit that this movie is pretty atrocious thus the blogging!).

The weekend has been fun. We went to a new mall yesterday (right next door to our old mall - go figure!) which has a great open space indoor play area for Neve. It has lots of climbing apparatus and as a Wild Animal, Neve LOVES climbing, so she really enjoyed it. I liked the people a bit better at the open playground than the Plastic Playworld set, so I may be giving up my membership card and joining this new open air play forum. There's also a very nice (yes, I said nice, not just descent) food market in this mall and our refrigerator is now busting over - AND they deliver, for free, so I see a real future with this place! We topped this mall excursion off with a lunch at TGIF (chicken caesar salad, hamburger with fries, coke from a large red plastic cup - the works!). I assure you that we are still in fact in New Delhi, India not Suburb City, USA!

After the mall, we came home, as you do, and had a cocktail party with some friends, Douglas and Chad, who we met last time we were in Delhi! See pictures below of their 6 month old twin baby boys - these babies are ridiculously adorable and happy and smiley! Chad and Douglas gave Ronan and Gemma the thumbs up and it was really nice to catch up with them and to see that they are doing so well! It was also a trip to have newborn twins, 6 month old twins and the Wild Animal all in the same place -- such huge changes take place in the first year and it was like looking at some sort of discovery channel special. Plus, a cocktail party was so super fun!! We need more friends in Delhi to save us from the mall. I think alcohol may be the lesser of the two evils!

This morning Hamish went on his morning run with the security guard. Yes, this has become a bit of a morning ritual. The security guard now puts on his shorts and shoes after his night shift and waits for Hamish to emerge. He gets disappointed when Hamish does not show up, so Hamish now gets up for his regular 7am run and off they go - like it or not!

I went out next for a run this morning and did my regular laps around the park. On the way back, running along the road, I came up behind a man carrying a small girl. She was Neve's size but thinner. Her eyes were lined in dark mark-up and her expression was mature beyond her years. She stared at me as I passed by and I could not take my eyes off of her. She looked like a doll that was relinquished to her purpose - no fight in her, just a dead look of acceptance to her fate, whatever that may be. I wanted to scoop her up and take her home with me, apply for an exit visa, wash off the make-up and let her revert to being a little wild animal herself.

She has haunted me this Mother's Day - this possibly motherless child.

So today, my heart and love go out to all of the mothers out there and to all of those in need of some mothering. May you all be raised up by the glow of a mother's love. May life be kind to you and when it is not, may you find a mother to scoop you up, save you, and provide you hope for a better future.

Much love,

G, H & N R G

Neve trying to "pet" Gemma.

In the moment prior to this photo, Neve ripped the pink blanket that used to be hers right off poor Gemma. These twins better toughen up quick - it's dangerous living with a Wild Animal!

Ronan likes to hit poor little Gemma in the head.

Neve with one of her fans.

Ezra and Cedric - adorable 6 month old twin boys!

The Wild Animal after a successful kill!

The cleaners love to arrange Neve's toys!

Gemma asleep under the covers.

Daddy and Ronan!

7 comments:

Dan and ToddMay 13, 2012 at 1:59 PM
Such a sweet post. :) Happy Mothers Day to you!
PS: What was the name of that awesome new mall??
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AllieMay 13, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Hey, how'd you do with the aftermath of the ceasar salad from TGIFriday's? I'm guessing you went to the grocery store on the bottom of Select City Walk mall, right? How are their prices? Does it beat shopping at M Block and bringing it back when you are over that way?
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EdwardMay 13, 2012 at 8:17 PM
Happy Mother's Day!
I think the 2nd India baby trip sounds a lot more like a lovely holiday and less the exotic adventure of the first....doesn't it?
Long live Fridays!
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lucyluMay 14, 2012 at 6:34 PM
I LOVE your posts even though I don't always get time to read every one, I love how open and honest you are. Thanks so much for sharing. Happy Mothers Day, your children are beautiful and I had a little giggle about your hubby running with the security guard. Please ask him if you can take a picture! How sweet!!
PS I agree re DLF.....it took us a few days to find it but it's an awesome find!
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Tips for Delhi Bound IPs:

Shopping: Last year when we were in Delhi, we did most of our shopping at the M Block Market. This time around we have preferred the City Walk Mall. There are two good baby stores at the end (near Zara). There are also 2 good western style markets at the other end (where you enter and exit). Only thing lacking at the City Walk is no real chemist. M Block seems to have gone down hill a bit and in the heat of the summer is fairly unpleasant.

Printer: If you need to buy a printer, scanner, copier because you are working while in Delhi, best place is Nehru Market. It's intimidating, but this is where you go for printers, computers, office supplies. Just so you are prepared, contrary to popular opinion, printers that you would recognize (Brothers, Canon) are NOT cheaper in India than in the US. Now we did have the guy in the baby store offer to sell us his printer right there in the store, but I'm talking about the new kind that come in sealed boxes with warranties.

The printer/scanner/photocopier has been critical for moving the exit process along. Much better than having to go out each time you need a copy because you need lots. And being able to print out documents from our e-mail has been critical.

For AUS citizenship documents, you will need A4 paper which you can also buy in Nehru Market.

Prices: Watch out for wanting to buy the cereal or soap you like from home. You will pay dearly for some of these things. H2O Body Wash (love it!) is $20 here and imported sharp cheddar cheese is an outrageous luxury.

Lawyer Visit: When we were here last year, we used a lawyer, Mr. Chawla, to help us with the exit paper work. This time around the process has been simplified and SCI is not recommending an attorney.

Privacy: I love all of the help here but am not used to having people around all day. Ladies, make sure you bring a robe! I would get one, but don't know where the robe market is!

Phones: We brought from NY our Vonage phone and internet connection. This has been amazing. We can call from our Vonage phone to anyone as if we are in NY. Skype has been great, but having the cheap phone is really helpful.

Baby in Hospital: When you get the call that the be baby is born, come to hospital with enough clothes (including hats and socks) for the baby, diapers and a bottle. The nurses will take them and use them on your baby while he/she is in the hospital. You might want to bring socks to visit your baby in the hospital as they make you take your shoes off in the baby area.

Bottles/Formula/Preparation: We have been using Dr.Browns Natural Flow bottles and have been very pleased. When the nurse took our bottle she said "oh, this is the good kind." We are using Nestle Nan 1 formula because that's what she got in the hospital. We bought it at M Block Market. We are boiling bottled water for the bottles and using a microwave sterilizer.

Diaper: You can buy pampers and wipes here. But, size one -- which is what you need for a baby under 3 kilos -- are harder to locate. Try M Block. We brought a suitcase of newborn diapers with us this time and although Hamish thought I was crazy it has been really helpful.

Clothes: Bring newborn sized clothes with you. For some inexplicable reason, it is impossible to find clothes for newborns here. If you are having twins - I would really not expect to rely on any of the clothes here. Bring tiny hats with you. I only have one that fits and looked for more but could not find anything. Bring rompers (one piece outfits with long sleeves and long legs) that snap in the front (no over head), have closed feet (no need to bother with socks) and which have the hand guards so that the baby can't scratch its face.

Transport & Bassinets: For Neve we used the Phil & Teds Nest for the at home bassinet (which we really liked and the mosquito net came in really handy). We used the Ergo with infant insert for outside travel (also good). The twins are too small to go in the Ergos so we are right now just putting the on our laps in the car and will only leave the house with them if we have to. If your baby is premature or you have twins the Phil & Teds cocoon is probably the way to go. We got spooked by the warnings on it that you should not leave a sleeping baby alone in it because the sides are not breathable. This time around we bought a pac n play at M Block Market for the twins.

Do not rely on SCI supplying bassinets, baby tubs, etc. They told us they would be able to loan us a bassinet for the twins and a crib for Neve and a baby tub and when we got here they said they were all already loaned out.

Bank Draft Check for Citizenship Application: You have to a branch of The Bank of India. We tried the Citi (where we are private banking clients) but they will not help you unless you have an account in India. They won't even accept cash (as opposed to taking it from an account) for the draft. Try to find a non-busy branch of Bank of India or it will be a long and painful wait. Seek help from your driver should you get stuck in lines that you can't manage. [NOT SURE THIS IS STILL ACCURATE.]

Cars & Drivers. Rahul has a car services that SCI clients use. Rachna will be able to give you the number directly or arrange for pick-ups. There are 4 and 8 hour minimums. These guys know where the hospital is, the SCI office and all the places you need to go for citizenship/passports/exit visas. If you find a driver that you like, tip him well and he will come back (and just to make sure, request him when you book). Your driver can REALLY make a difference in your overall experience and he can be really helpful in navigating situations/places where you are unsure.

Photos of Baby: Rachna will give you the number for a photographer who will come to your apartment take photographs of your baby for the citizenship, passport and exit visa and dna tests. I would wait until day 2 or so to do this (you won't have the BC back by then anyway, so no reason to rush on day 1) because baby has to open its eyes fully and that's easier the older the baby is.

For Australian citizenship, Dr. Shivani will endorse 4 of the photos and she will need to sign your Form 118 (for AUS citizenship). You will need these before you can apply for citizenship.

Birth Certificate: After the baby is born, you go to SCI and Rachna will help you fill out the birth certificate application and will file it for you. Rachna will also arrange for the apostile. You can pay with a credit card at SCI for these services

DNA Test Australia (accurate in 2011): Once the baby is born, contact the Australian High Commission to make an appointment with a panel doctor to have your baby dna tested. Because we live in the US, my husband had to be tested in Delhi as well (they prefer that you do the husband in Australia before you leave). If you are doing both the baby and the husband, double and triple check that the AHC is bringing two kits to the panel doctor. Make sure you have your passport with you. You have to have the 3 forms from the AHC filled for the dna test.

DNA Test US: The US is again requiring DNA testing. We spoke to a couple who had trouble with the lab they used in the US - results took 2 weeks. They suggest that you order the test from a center near your home and there is no reason to do that. When you call the lab make sure that they (1) will ship the test before the babies are born (the one in NJ would not do that), (2) confirm that they will get you the DNA results within a few days of receiving the sample and (3) confirm that they will e-mail the results to the embassy.

Citizenship (AUS) [accurate in 2011]: After you get the birth certificate, call and make an appointment with the AHC to file your citizenship application. Start filling out form 118 after the birth. Documents the AHC needed (along with a completed Form 118:

- Original Birth Certificate plus one copy (they will look over the original and keep the copy)

- Proof of Identity Photos of Baby (at least one endorsed by Dr Shivani or whoever signs you form 118)

- Original Surrogacy Contracts, Medical Records of Pregnancy and Baby's Discharge Papers plus one copy of all (they will look over the originals and keep the copy) -- you will pick up the originals of all of these documents from SCI but will have to get your own copies made

- Form 118 (completed)

- Birth Certificate for Genetically related AUS parents or parents plus a copy (they will review the BC and keep the copy)

- Passports for both parents plus copies of the name pages (they will review the original and keep the copies)

- DNA Test results (do not need results to file application for citizenship)

- Statutory Declaration (which needs to be witnessed by an appropriate Australian, or if you are not in AUS by the consulate which which the AHC person can call over for you.

- No Objection Letter from non -AUS parent. Not required if two Australians.

- Original Marriage License plus copy (they will review the original and keep the copy)

- Legal opinion/report from attorney re surrogacy contracts

- Bank Draft [ours was for INR 5500], drawn in favor of the "Australian High Commission" and payable at "New Dehi"

We did NOT need tax returns.

Australian Passport: When you go to your AHC meeting ask if the consulate can come over and look over your PC8 application for the passport. You might be able to lodge it at the same time if you have all that is required. You are going to apply for an emergency passport, although form PC8 does not list that as an option.

List from the consulate includes the following:

- completed form PC8

- Original Birth Certificate of Baby

- Australian Citizenship Certificate

- Proof of Australian citizenship for parent

- 2 passport photos of baby (size 35mm x 45mm, face front) endorsed on back

- passport fee and emergency passport priority fee, all payable in INR

** You do not need a guarantor for form PC8 unless you are applying for a non-emergency passport

US Citizenship: Will post more once we start the process. Note that Nancy Hamilton is no longer at the US embassy in Delhi. Your contact person is Karin Leishman (LeishmanKR@state.gov) and you should contact her before you come over so that you can confirm you are bringing all the paper work you need.